These days, separation and divorce seem to be all around us. Very few people, however, enter a marriage expecting to get divorced. Everyone knows someone who is either separated or divorced, and statistics tell us that this happens to as many as 40%-50% of all couples. Still, as very few people actually expect to get divorced, even fewer know how to cope with the breakup of the marriage.
Coping with divorce is no easy matter as dissolution of the marriage brings in a host of other issues, including child custody/support/visitation rights, property disputes and financial settlements, alimony (spousal maintenance), even domestic violence. One way or the other, divorce usually involves confusion, feelings of betrayal and anger, disappointment, loss, fear of the future, depression, and ultimately acceptance.
However, the road to acceptance is a hard one. Traditionally, people coped with divorce through reaching out to others for support through the grieving process, be it talking to family and friends, or seeking professional counseling. Nowadays, people still reach out to others for support, albeit in a more non-traditional manner. Modern divorcées look for advice on the internet and even throw divorce parties.
A divorce party is a ceremony that celebrates the end of a marriage. And while some think that getting a divorce is a personal failure and nothing to celebrate, others do just that. If you are wondering why anyone would publically celebrate such deeply personal and what was once considered a “shameful” event, those who choose to “party” say it is liberating. Divorce has become a common occurrence, and there is less and less stigma attached to it, so celebrating an end of one’s relationship can be viewed as celebrating a start of a new life with the support of friends and family.
A Divorce Party is considered a new way to mark the end of the pain and suffering that comes with divorce, and an opportunity to find closure. It can be an opportunity to vent or cry, knowing that the person is supported, loved and not alone. The party can also be used to step out in public and let others know that the newly single person is available for new experiences and maybe even new relationships.
Some divorced couples go as far as co-hosting their divorce party, aiming to heal the rift among family and friends that divorce may cause. The idea is to part ways peacefully, and to acknowledge the good with the bad.
An opportunity to reinvent one’s life is rare, and a chance to correct the negative feelings that often accompany one’s divorce is even rarer. As such, if the divorce party helps someone cope with the divorce, I say party on. It is for a good cause.